I found out the hard way, receiving awards and impressive remarks often becomes an addiction, an enslavement of the mind. The more you do, the more you feel the need to do, to stay ahead of others and your past self. And when you're not doing, you feel worthless to the world. It's one thing to be build a resume to get into college or to get a good job, it's another thing to believe that resume gives you self-worth. We live as social profiles unable or unwilling to admit that Saturday night we did nothing. Looking back, tennis was trying to free me from those future expectations. [Excerpt]
I have an unhealthy obsession with seeing average people win needless crap. The more
average the person and the more needless the crap, the higher my brain’s serotonin spikes. [Excerpt]
Fall. Everyone's favorite culture. Even the textiles seem softer and smoother and more gentle on the skin. As if the air itself tastes like grace. Cathartic clouds -- turquoise sheets draped behind gray piles of cumulonimbus lace. A cool breeze blowing through, carrying us back to high school football games and bonfires on beaches where we've never been, but we always imagined that we did. The feeling of a thousand memories inhaled in one whiff, the taste of sweet nostalgia and college meal plans. [Excerpt]
