I went to the gym on a Friday night, and this time it wasn't to watch their cable tv.
That evening is when I realized, the only people at the gym on a Friday night, well other than me and the guy that apparently always falls asleep during the 6pm Yoga class and wakes up around 9:30, are the other guys that could compete for Mr. Universe tomorrow if they had to.
Oh, and there's the girl running 22mph on a treadmill. Pretty sure she's been sprinting in that same spot since Tuesday. I let the guy at the front desk know that they may need to order a new belt for that machine.
Just doing my part, y'all.
Back to my point. The people at the gym on Friday nights eat sleep and breathe fitness. They have likely given up enticing social offers and other opportunities, such as lying in bed and watching Netflix while eating an entire box of Reeses' ice cream sandwiches, in favor of working out tonight instead. After having worked a full day at work. There's only a few of them, and they all seem to know each other. They've been the few here on Friday nights for a while.
My first thought upon making eye contact with one of these rare creatures is usually, "ARE YOU JUDGING MY FORM, MY HOLLISTER TEE, THE PANTONE PURPLE COLOR OF MY FACE, OR MY LACK OF BICEPS THE SIZE OF TRUCK WHEELS?! BEN, DON'T YOU DARE PUT THESE WEIGHTS DOWN WHILE THEY ARE WATCHING. ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME ON THE INSIDE? DEAR GOD PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE," and other similar thoughts.
I'm a better writer when I'm in the gym because I can think of some crazy things that must be going on inside other people's heads. And most, if not all, of it is a complete waste of my mental strength. It takes my energy away from why I'm really here. And that's to be the best ME that I can be.
After having been there almost an hour, I finally begin to notice that they have everything else tuned out. They want this more than they are afraid of it.
They're not here to impress or be like anyone else. If they notice anyone else at all, it's to take note of how they can better themselves. Maybe it's learning new exercises or a better form, that's all they really care about, not competing, not these guys.
We live in a world that is obsessed with being better than. Doesn't matter who, just be better. But finding our purpose in 'being better' will always leave us thirsting for more. There will always be someone stronger, faster, smarter, richer, younger, more experienced, more popular, more influential, leaner, funnier.
So many people envy their friends and strangers, then aim to put them down so that maybe we'll all end up on the same level. Instead, it's so much more productive to use that feeling of jealously to guide us for good. To tell ourselves, okay, I must have more potential in that area, and then work harder to better our own selves, allowing ourselves to be only inspired and not competing.
But I must warn you. When you find yourself not comparing, only striving towards your potential, going after your dreams, and ultimately changing as a person, you will run into resistance. Resistance is the name of the game. It shows up internally and externally. Not everyone will be for you. Not everyone is capable. You'll just have to shake it off. It's less about who you are, and more about where their heart is.
It still amazes me that every now and then I run into one or two people who are so unsupportive. People that I've known for a long time, that were always there for me in difficult times before. But now. Now that I'm really going after life, taking risks, putting it all on the line, they're taken aback. It seems ridiculous until you experience it. There are actually people who would rather not see you change, even if it's for the better. They'd rather you be the same ole guy you've always been, nothing new. There's a tiny, cramped box they'd like to keep you in.
But you can't take it personally. Their inability to support you really isn't about you at all. It's a reflection of where they are at. Of course, that can put strain on any relationship. But love them where they are, love them just like you wished they loved you, unconditionally. And find a good place for your friendship. It doesn't mean you have to be buddy-buddy, because you'll need a circle of positivity around you instead. But let them know that you still accept them and support them on their journey, do not be condescending. Love them until it hurts. Err on the side of grace.
In the end, it's not about them.
Your life is about you. You're the one that will have to answer for it. So, stop looking around and wondering who is watching. Who is judging your form. They don't get a say in your dream. Spend your energy on things you can affect. Get to work, follow your heart, do things you think you can't, then go even further. Don't doubt yourself. Don't assume you know what anyone thinks. Get to work, expand your mind, give up what you hold tight. Live from a place of service, not entitlement. Sacrifice your good life for an unbelieveable one. Don't settle. Ask for what you want in life, then get to work for it. Know that God will provide. Maybe not on your timetable, maybe not with the people or things you wished. But if He did it according to your plan, what would be the point of faith?
Get after it, y'all.