The worst. That feeling of homesickness settling in, and had money been plentiful, I probably would have chosen to catch the next flight out of here and back to Nashville for the weekend. I only tell you this so you know it's not always sunshine and rainbows. I've gotten better at being vulnerable over the years, and I'm finding authenticity delicious.
Maybe it's because I am coming off of a great New Years celebrating with one of my best friends visiting the city. I kinda got used to us making it our city. So when she had to say goodbye, it left me feeling a little empty. And then - due to the snowstorm - our office worked from home on Friday. At the risk of your judging me, I admit: I actually wanted to go into the office.
It's hard being away from family and friends. The little interactions that you take for granted, running into a friendly neighbor while checking the mail, seeing coworkers in the halls who know what's going on in your life, running into a good friend at McDonald's on Broadway. I miss those little things as much as the big ones. And I think it all culminated on the twenty-seventh day of my New York residency.
Thankfully, the twenty-seventh day is over. Today is the 28th. Still a few remnants of the 27th remain like crust in my eyes, but today is new. I am blessed to have some of the best friends and family that a guy could ask for. So after an urgent text for encouragement, my friends (and big sis!) were well on their way to grounding me - reminding me not to feel sorry for myself - refocusing me on the innumerable blessings I have in my life.
"Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil. Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life!" -Proverbs 3:5
It's easy in this big city to get a crick in your neck from looking up at all the tall buildings and feeling overwhelmed. Instead of looking out at the person walking across from you and giving them a smile. Perhaps it confuses them as to why you're smiling at them. But that's okay - at least it keeps them from looking up at the buildings and feeling overwhelmed, too.
"One sees great things from the valley; only small things from the peak." -G.K. Chesterton
If you're feeling homesick (which I believe can happen even if you're not away from home), here are the three things that I am doing with the help of friends to get out of my slump:
1. Get a grip. Sit down for 30 minutes each day, pen in hand, and only write what you are thankful for. What is good in your life. Don't let the pen up off the paper until that 30 minutes is over. I dare you to feel sorry for yourself when you complete that mission.
2. Get physical. On Friday I joined a gym, one that's halfway between my work and my home. I live four blocks from work, so the gym is exactly two blocks from each. I have no excuse not to go. I'm getting back into running, and already it is helping.
3. Meditate. Just this morning I challenged myself to go to a meditation class. To be still, to (try and) stop thinking so much, to listen, to live in the moment. Spending more time in prayer is my mission for 2014, as much out of necessity as anything. I know I do plenty of talking, but I'm ready to do more listening.
If you find yourself getting in a funk this week or next, try one of these things. Maybe they can help you, too. In the end, you have to rest assured knowing that you're following your heart and that it will lead you to the finish line. No, it probably won't be easy. But as I look back at my life, I can honestly say that the most rewarding things have also been the very hardest ones. I am faithful that this is one of those things.
Love, y'all.
Did you catch that? I love you.
It's easy for me to get caught up in my own worries, but I want you to know -- I understand what it's like to have a bad day. If you're having a bad one, call me, let's talk it out.