I found out the hard way, receiving awards and impressive remarks often becomes an addiction, an enslavement of the mind. The more you do, the more you feel the need to do, to stay ahead of others and your past self. And when you're not doing, you feel worthless to the world. It's one thing to be build a resume to get into college or to get a good job, it's another thing to believe that resume gives you self-worth. We live as social profiles unable or unwilling to admit that Saturday night we did nothing. Looking back, tennis was trying to free me from those future expectations. [Excerpt]
When the dust settles and all the background noise fades into silence, and you're left sitting there by yourself, what do you say?
It's the thoughts that you have in these moments that decide where you will go in this new year. So, tell yourself a good story. Say to yourself that you've got gifts worth sharing with the world. [Excerpt]
We feared getting the same diseases, sometimes talking ourselves into panic attacks, not realizing that we already had the worst of them. The disease that is fear. Now pictured as the fear of growing older, or the lesser fear of dying. The fear of being alone. The fear that decisions that we made yesterday, or last week, or last year have somehow led us to a place that isn’t quite what we expected. That they now haunt us as we’re running out of time. [Excerpt]
There’s more to it than subway maps and spiritual cycling. My first year in New York has been quite the whirlwind. But in between the heights of steel and emotions, I’ve had a good amount of space to sink down deep into my own awareness and think about my journey. If we turned back time 365 days, here are the five lessons that I would aim to teach myself at the start of this adventure. [Excerpt]
Three-hundred and sixty five days - and I’d like to underline each one of them. One year in many ways feels like one month, feels like a decade. It’s been nothing like the expectations I had laid out in my head, but much more. Coming home makes for good reflecting time away from the city. The past one year has been a rollercoaster of courage, fear, faith, loneliness, meditation, gratitude, joy and pure freedom embedded within new experiences, friends, job, home, and a new mindset. [Excerpt]
There’s a tree outside my apartment window in New York. I have no idea what kind of tree it is, but it looks like a million tiny ferns crawled up onto its branches and planted themselves into its bark. A million tiny ferns that were now bright yellow, as if they were protesting the summer sunshine to return to our street. [Excerpt]
Fall. Everyone's favorite culture. Even the textiles seem softer and smoother and more gentle on the skin. As if the air itself tastes like grace. Cathartic clouds -- turquoise sheets draped behind gray piles of cumulonimbus lace. A cool breeze blowing through, carrying us back to high school football games and bonfires on beaches where we've never been, but we always imagined that we did. The feeling of a thousand memories inhaled in one whiff, the taste of sweet nostalgia and college meal plans. [Excerpt]
No matter how wonderful you are. Or think you are. What really makes people wonderful is when they bounce back with faith and anticipation for the next time around. Believing that the win is coming. No matter what actually happens. [Excerpt]
I believe in the act of dreaming. And that success doesn't come with an overnight fulfillment. Well, it's best when it doesn't. I believe that true success is measured by what we become in the process. That's what determines when the dream has arrived. [Excerpt]
We live in a world that is obsessed with being better than. Doesn't matter who, just be better. But finding our purpose in 'being better' will always leave us thirsting for more. There will always be someone stronger, faster, smarter, richer, younger, more experienced, more popular, more influential, leaner, funnier. [Excerpt]
The fear didn't just immediately melt away when I made up my mind to go on this adventure. No, first fear tried to bring all its friends, every single one of my insecurities, along on this vacation. [Excerpt]
Don't be afraid to ask: Why do I want this? If you find yourself coming back to your heart, go for it. If you find yourself pointing to others, particularly to please them, consider running from it. Right now is the perfect time to begin answering that call you've let ring again and again like a morning alarm clock. Stop hitting the snooze. [Excerpt]
If I'm being honest, I feel as though I've been called out into the wilderness. Bear with me on this one. Yes, I know New York City wouldn't quite be described as a wilderness by experts of geography or ecology or theology or desertology. But think of it this way... [Excerpt]
The worst. That feeling of homesickness settling in, and had money been plentiful, I probably would have chosen to catch the next flight out of here and back to Nashville for the weekend. I only tell you this so you know it's not always sunshine and rainbows. I've gotten better at being vulnerable over the years, and I'm finding authenticity delicious. [Excerpt]
It's been a whirlwind to say the least. New city, new apartment, new art for the walls, new roommates, new job, new subway system, new coworkers, new grocery store, new church, new, new, new, new. It's no wonder that I've been stumped on what to write for this post because it seems like everything is new. I didn't know how to start the update, so maybe that's why I've put off writing it for so long. [Excerpt]
Today I moved into my new Chelsea apartment, but I hope it never feels too much like home. For one, Nashville can never be replaced. And, too, there's something about being in a new place, your senses are keen to every movement, every sound, every taste and smell. [Excerpt]
It's in that moment that I realized there are two kinds of flying people. The first kind get annoyed by everything when traveling. Each delay, each slow walker, each person who jumps ahead in line. Then, there is the second kind which has learned to love (or at least embrace) the unexpected. [Excerpt]
I am perfectly comfortable here. Like curled up with a good book on a warm, plush couch kind of comfortable. Literally, fireplace and all. This is my ultimate comfort zone. I know what to expect each day, I control my life. At least I feel in control. I like to be in control of my life. But I cannot continue to think about all that is right here. [Excerpt]
